Symptoms Mal: My sphincters tell me what to do.

This, among other things, was how Chris had come to the determination that I was pregnant before it had even been an idea in my scrawny little brain.

We met for breakfast. I desperately had to pee before we sat down. When was the last time I had to pee in a restaurant? I can't remember. After a movie, sure, but a restaurant? No. And before breakfast? Definitely not usual behavior for me.

Being pregnant is just another way of saying that you will hand over all control to your sphincters. They are like the mob. Seriously. They will make your life hell if you don't listen to every word they say...

It does not matter where you are, how focused a person you are, how much discipline you have...you will bow to your bladder (and to your colon). And from what I hear (and have thus far experienced) it only gets worse.

Too many times I would try to "stick it out" only to have to run (somehow with my legs tightly squeezed together) very quickly to the bathroom before I had a mental and physical breakdown. There was a brief period of time when I would have this same excruciatingly desperate feeling only to have a teaspoon of piss come out. For a long time I peed 5 times a night and even more in the day. I still dread long car trips. I don't like going into places (the hardware store for example) where I just know that even if there is a bathroom I don't want to use it (you will anyway, but in this case there wasn't one). And don't get me started about #2. That would turn your stomach. Lol.

Looking at it, and knowing what I know about birth, this must all be a test. Not a test of will power, oh no. A test at how good you are at giving in to your body...of how well you listen, of how damn patient you can make yourself become. Because when that baby is ready to come out...you can have will power and keep it in for a long long time (and have a hell of a long labor), or you can give in and let your sphincters take over the job. It's up to you.